7 min to read

Embracing Change: My Journey with CPTSD and Career Transformation

Overcoming Trauma and Finding Purpose in Cybersecurity

Featured image

Introduction

Life is a journey filled with unexpected twists and turns. Sometimes, these challenges test our strength and resilience in ways we could never anticipate. My story is one of discovering and managing Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) while navigating a significant career change. It’s a tale of struggle, self-discovery, and ultimately, renewal. I hope my journey can inspire others facing similar obstacles.

Understanding CPTSD: The Dark Clouds

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or CPTSD, arises from prolonged trauma, often during childhood. For me, this trauma stemmed from a turbulent environment at home. My parents didn’t get along—they were always fighting, arguing, and speaking negatively about each other and us kids. Physical abuse was normal in my family, followed by emotional abuse because I was not up to their standards—too skinny, too dumb, not fast enough, too lazy. These hurtful lines came not just from my family but also from school, college, and university.

Coping with Uncertainty and Fear

Coping with constant fear and uncertainty was challenging. Looking back, I coped by immersing myself in the computer, playing games, and researching technology or the internet. Curiosity became my best friend. By age 13, I had learned to program an HTML site out of boredom and access to a computer. I even learned to access the router and block my family members from using it. Curiosity was my coping mechanism. I loved breaking things apart to understand how they worked. I remember taping a battery and light from a toy to my watch to walk around with a light on it and playing with DC motors.

The Turning Point: Acknowledging CPTSD

Acknowledging CPTSD was the first step toward healing. The most challenging part was processing the pain I had bottled up inside for many years since childhood. Therapy made me realize a profound appreciation for myself and helped me learn how strong I am, even when I didn’t know how much pain I had endured. Working every day with my inner child, who never received proper love, was crucial. Practicing self-parenting is still an ongoing process, as I have much to uncover.

Breakthrough Moments in Therapy

One of my breakthrough moments in therapy was realizing the strength I have when I thought I was weak. This realization significantly contributed to my healing and reinforced my resilience. Now, I stand before you to show that you can also change your programming. You can decide who you want to be.

Navigating Career Change: Embracing Cybersecurity

After studying three years in college for robotics and two years for electronics and controls, I thought working as a control engineer was what I wanted to do. But my curiosity had different plans. It was scary to say goodbye to my previous job as a control engineer, as I was uncertain if I would ever get it back again. However, I had a little light of trust in myself—no matter what happened, I would work hard and achieve my dream job.

Discovering My Passion for Cybersecurity

My background in robotics and cable technology didn’t directly influence my decision to choose cybersecurity; it was more of a process of discovery. My interest in cybersecurity led me down this path. The skills I gained in robotics—like automation and control systems—combined with my hands-on experience as a cable technician, provided a solid foundation for understanding complex systems and thinking analytically. This foundation, coupled with my curiosity, naturally led me to the world of cybersecurity.

Resilience in Action: My Journey with UofT SCS Boot Camps

My journey was highlighted by UofT SCS Boot Camps in a blog post titled “Just Keep Trying: How Harsimran Sidhu Persevered to Learn Cybersecurity and Land a Job During COVID-19.” They shared how I transitioned from a background in robotics and cable technology to cybersecurity. My background in electronics gave me an edge, and my independent project—a home automation system—showcased my ability to innovate and solve problems independently, impressing potential employers during job interviews.

Despite the obstacles, including the impact of COVID-19, I persevered. I achieved my CompTIA Security+ certification through self-study, even though I failed the first time. I knew I would pass the next time or the next, and that moment was profound as it proved to me that I am smart enough to do this. I received support from my boot camp coach, which eventually helped me land an entry-level cybersecurity job at Telecom Metric. Working virtually due to the pandemic, I thrived in my new role, controlling servers and assisting customers with technical issues. This job was precisely what I wanted, fulfilling my professional aspirations and marking a significant milestone in my journey.

For more details about my journey, you can read the full blog post by UofT SCS Boot Camps here.

A Personal Loss and Continued Resilience

After completing my boot camp, I faced another significant challenge: the loss of my grandfather to cancer. He was the only person in my life who showed kindness and calmness during my turbulent childhood. Losing him made my inner child scared and panic-stricken. At the same time, I was looking for jobs and trying to move away from a toxic environment. Despite the pain and fear, I continued to push forward, drawing strength from the resilience I had built over the years.

Moments of Pride

Throughout this journey, there have been moments that made me particularly proud of myself. One such moment was completing the CompTIA Security+ certification through self-study, despite failing the first attempt. I persevered, and passing the exam proved to me that I am capable and smart enough to achieve my goals.

Another proud moment was when I moved out on my own and started learning to cook and take care of myself. This experience showed me how much I had grown and how independent I had become.

Finally, getting my first job as a Security Operations Center (SOC) Analyst was a significant milestone. It validated all my hard work and determination, proving that I could succeed in my new career.

Valuable Lessons Learned

Through my journey, I have learned several valuable lessons about resilience and personal growth:

  1. Perseverance Pays Off: Even when faced with failures and setbacks, continuing to push forward and not giving up leads to eventual success.
  2. Self-Care is Crucial: Taking care of oneself, both physically and mentally, is essential for overall well-being and long-term success.
  3. Change is Possible: No matter how challenging the circumstances, it is possible to change one’s path and create a better future.
  4. Inner Strength: We often underestimate our inner strength. Realizing and embracing this strength can lead to profound personal growth and resilience.

A New Beginning in Cybersecurity

Today, I stand stronger and more resilient, having transformed my life in ways I once thought impossible. My journey with CPTSD continues, but I now face it with greater understanding and tools for management. My career in cybersecurity has opened doors I never imagined, allowing me to thrive in a field that excites and challenges me. Completing a Cyber Security certificate from the University of Toronto CE, a Bachelor of Engineering in Technology from Cape Breton University, and an Electromechanical Engineering – Advanced Diploma from Humber College further solidified my expertise and confidence in this new path.

A Message of Pride and Strength

To anyone who is working on themselves, especially on those days when the emptiness inside feels overwhelming and the despair seems too strong, I want you to know that I am incredibly proud of you. It takes immense courage to face those dark moments and continue striving for a better life. Remember, you are very strong. Your efforts, even on the hardest days, are a testament to your resilience and determination. Keep pushing forward, because you are capable of incredible things.

Conclusion: Embrace Your Journey

If you are struggling with similar challenges, know that you are not alone. The path to healing and transformation is not easy, but it is possible. Embrace your journey, seek support, and believe in your capacity to overcome. Change may be daunting, but it often leads to incredible growth and renewal.

Remember, it’s never too late to start anew. Your past does not define you, but it can empower you to build a brighter, more resilient future.